Finally, a revolutionary platform that promises to take your hard-earned cash and keep it away from those who need it most
I've perfected the art of taking your money and doing absolutely nothing charitable with it
I guarantee that 0% of your donation will reach anyone in need. Your money will be used exclusively for my personal benefit.
Unlike that moron, I take from you and give to me.
My team of certified money-takers ensures your donation is properly mismanaged to my maximum benefit.
Track how much good your money ISN'T doing in real-time. Watch my luxury purchases and lavish holidays LIVE on Instagram!
Your generous donations help fund my exotic vacations and unnecessary items. Thank you for your commitment.
I am so committed to not spending a dime, you can't even give your money to me because that would cost me a small percentage in payment processing fees
Hear from satisfied customers who successfully gave us money that didn't help anyone except me
"I tried to donate $500 to help the homeless, but accidentally gave it to OBLESSONLINE instead. Now I know for sure it won't help anyone!"
"Finally, a service that matches my complete lack of empathy! I sleep better knowing my money goes to him who deserves it least."
"I wanted to make sure the poor stayed poor, and OBLESSONLINE delivered! 10/10 would not recommend to charity."
Great question! You can't. Please purchase stamps and send it to my P.O Box at your expense
Every penny goes directly to "administrative costs"
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